This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
So ignoring my calls doesnt work if you update your facebook a minute later.
New moon trailer came on. Theater booed. I love these people.
just so you know... i was wasted last night, but the evening is coming back to me in flashes... i made you eat gravy last night, didn't i?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
fat chick, vomit on the dog, and three unidentifiable pills in my ear. all in the same ear. what the hell happened after the guests showed up?
Not sure how a movie about Jesus has managed to make me feel insecure about my boobs but it has.
My vag hurts but I feel vindicated
That is an interesting emotion combo
I swear if he puts my hand anywhere near his dick tonight I'm "accidentally" leaving all my rings on
Well at least I still have a burrito in my pocket.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Antibacterial soap and prayers does not for spermicide make
YO CONGRATULATIONS ON YOUR MÉNAGE À TROIS. YOU GO, GLENN COCO
I cried while dry heaving in the back of the car to the New York song with jay z in it. I was singing it inbetween gags.
How much glitter would I have to ingest in order for a "magnificent" amount to appear in my ejaculate?
I feel a blackout coming on
Plz don't have me burst into your house saying you're late for re airport to rescue you from a fat girl again
That was 2 times
I just woke up, its 6AM and i'm pretty sure the guy passed out next to me is 70% ugly...
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