in the event that i am dead, my body is laying in the intersection of ... the pearl in springfield. it was my friend's 21st but i think i'm dead. wearing a black top. like i said, probably dead.
Bring booze and chicks. Separate, or one already in the other. Your call.
Masterbating to gospel music is like god cheering on your orgasm
with all this snow coming, and no school, I figure why not try every possible liquor snowcone.
She sucked my dick while i watched james bond. And they say marriage sucks
My building was evacuated who wants to quake and bake
My doctor actually said I was suffering from an "acute hangover" in doctor's note I asked him for....what a douche
7% of guys ive been with can get me off... I did the math!
Just laying in bed, snuggling my cat, and pondering whether I'd like to attend a swingers party this evening...
You gonna smoke this blunt? Or are you gonna keep doing Kung-fu in my kitchen?
I tired using vodka to remove my makeup
He's the douchy one who wouldn't let me rip his shirt off, right?
i just cleaned my bong... I do not feel healthy
let your parents know i'm sorry i ran around the house pretending their metal detector was a "booze detector"
It's a draw. You need to settle it in Smash, Soul Calibur, and/or rock-paper-scissors, the last of which Steve claims is bullshit.
Randomize
