i just google searched 'can you pop your ovary'
I fuked that chick last night and she kept saying, "oh...oh....oh", like Bill Lumberg
so what did you do?
I did the mash I did the monster mash It was a graveyard smash!
You have proved your worthiness to join me on the quest of taking shots at every academic building on campus by showing up drunk to our test at 12:30 today
koolaid chicken. i marinated it for 2 hours and roasted it on a rock in a fire. it was bright blue and raw. but that shit was tasty
Well I'm 85-90% sure that he licked syrup off my body, but no guarantees...
Please, take the 2 shots of vodka that I left as an apologie.
I'd say tonight was pretty successful. I rode an iron horse naked and sweet talked myself out of an MIC while wearing a bra filled with four loko.
Go for it! You're young. Have fun. Be somebody's expensive hobby like Anastasia Steele.
Next time you're baked eat baked beans and potato chips together. Like dip them in the beans. It's so good
Yeah, reverse cow girl. She was on top and I was playing Flappy Bird behind her back. Easiest way to have angry sex.
I only drink at bars with bathrooms big enough to have sex in.
"Nobody needs to know that I have a vibrating butt plug and nobody needs to know that I'm probably gonna start wearing it at work"
Can you explain the Transformers set up for battle in my living room?
dude, next time you say lets go on an adventure, tell me if there are going to be psychotrophics involved before hand.
My parents are coming to visit the 28th. How bad is it that I put a reminder in my phone to "hide sex toys"?
Randomize
