dude you made out with his girlfriend and stole his credit card to buy more drinks
well when you put it that way, I sound like a terrible person
Ever find yourself wondering if your life is God's way of telling a joke?
It was an 11am booty call. We were both out of our element.
We could be the people that go there! Shuffleboard n shit. Meet strippers.
You had me at shuffleboard and strippers
If I don't survive tonitght I would like to thank you for the ricekrispy treats. I am majestic
I took your mattress from your bed. Don't ask questions. Love you. See ya later.
We got stuck in traffic in the tunnel while we were smoking weed. We were afraid to air out the car.
My knees are skinned from sitting on someone's face on concrete
I never truly understood the phrase ball is life until I started having to balance NBA finals and all these men with balls i'd like to handle.
Help I can't tell if I'm sexually attracted to Bill Nye
Oh.
You came to the right person.
You took his virginity and then he got lost on his way back to his hotel room... We found him at 3am sitting on the sidewalk crying. Kudos.
I drank beer out of a Frisbee and it was all downhill from there...
the twins are trying to figure out which one is the one doing body shots off a janitor in this picture
high I am. I am yoda. Yoda I am
He's a wizard, there is no other explanation for how hard I came last night. None.
Randomize
