Whats up?
Drunk as a mother trucker with panties on her thumbnail..laying thee down
Stay up. I'm coming home in a little
Ill try..hurry!!!! Thine hour awaits you
my advisor is telling us the best way to sneak in alcohol on move in day. I definately picked the right college
I'm so proud of us for fucking the same friend group before we met in a completely unrelated instance.
You just handed me your ATM card and wrote your PIN number on a dollar bill and said "for bail money."
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You did a line of free coke with an obese Slovenian unlicensed cab driver in the toilets of the most questionable strip club in the country. New low man.
When you put it like that, I'm inclined to agree.
I thought I could grab a hold of my stream of urine. So she left pretty soon after that.
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
I can't stop drooling did you spike my drink?
We both work at 8am and I have to shower but my roommate is passed out on our bathroom floor with the door locked. Merry Christmas.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Would I be crazy if I drove 1,000 miles for some dick? What mile does it become ridiculous?
Never thought an ATM max withdrawal could be such a good thing...
No way in hell. Unless I was drunk Tindering again....my swiping finger gets drunk too I guess
I’m not spending 14 dollars on a margarita unless it’s rimmed with cocaine... actually do you have a blender?
like honestly, the vodka had to go somewhere, and your moms soap dispenser just seemed right at the time..
My house exploded and with it all my pot went up in smoke.
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