Totally smoking with fifteen year olds.
my door was closed and her door was closed but even over the r.kelly playing at full blast i was able to hear her say "THAT'S NOT THE RIGHT HOLE!". Def rethinking my roommate situation.
does he have a tent? the camping kind not the boner kind.
She actually said during sex "the only thing that would make this more perfect is if we were listening to Lenny Kravitz"
So, obviously, you had to give a fake number this morning.
Yes. Also, we may never be able to go back to that bar again.
Is masturbating to pics of your ex on Facebook considered cheating?
You are proof that most things are best left unsaid.
no really all good couples have similar hair colors!
Trying to guess which perfume the stripper was wearing based on my bf's clothes
If I ever mention marriage force me to Brazil to do coke and strippers until I die.
As i was blowing him Silent Night came on his iTunes. I said "it isn't christmas" and he moans "yeah it is."
The best part about passing out on the floor was the fact that when I pissed myself, I didn't piss the bed again.
You're the third person who's asked me for an afternoon blow connection in one day. Unreal.
That's more of a you-issue than a me-issue
Whatever, consider condoms an eighteen year investment.
I could probably save all of the money I would have spent on condoms and put a kid through college.
He was having this drunk emotional breakdown and I was just trying to cheer him up but instead fell and dumped the whole pickle jar on me
It was cool though because he was fine afterwards and somehow I convinced them I did it on purpose...
I don't particularly remember setting a firecracker off in my hand. No more tequila.
Sorry for peeing on your books last night. I wouldn't leave them next to the window anymore.
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