no, no I am DEF NOT pregnant. typo. sorry, wanted to talk about us...
I have a running excel spreadsheet detailing the number of shots in a night and subsequent ability to masturbate
I imagine anything that isn't a dilldo attached to a jackhammer, powered by a generator won't be amazing enough for you
We just saw him running from campus police a few minutes ago. So no, I don't think he's still passed out on the quad.
There is a newly found video on my phone of me following you to the bathroom to watch you throw up. sorry I didn't hold your hair
That's right. If she can't abide by the rules then she gets booted. It's like survivor booty call edition
Weer fine. went to buiy cigxs, but hes theonly one waering shoes. He caem out wti chicke fingers instead. whatecer, there th 8 dollar kind.
I am one Jewel song away from suicide watch
nothing says "functioning mature adult" like sneaking beer out of your mom's fridge in a lunchbox
Drank a beer through my butt, how's your initiation going?
I feel like im becoming the girl who only drunk texts him. I would be in the dog house, if situations like this had dog houses.
either I'm really high or that last bong rip tasted like christmas
He was stoned and starts screaming, "I ain't got but a dollar, I wanna hear waterfalls!". Maybe he can hang with us....
You can only use the "she handcuffed me naked to your bed, i couldn't do anything, sorry bro" excuse once.
You have a tempurpedic. you only have you to blame.
DON NOT, UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES WATCH CLOWN PORN.
Randomize
