you're bored at work aren't you?
I'm toying with the idea of beating off under my desk
i just fell asleep masturbating. I'm no longer surprised i'm single. I can't even pleasure myself.
Do you know any thirteen year old jewish kids? I'm looking for a party.
He literally just walked in some random persons house and walked right to they're pantry. Then five minutes later he walks out with pop-tarts, mac and cheese, and captain morgan. We need to chill with this kid more often.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We ended up on a hotel balcony in Daytona where she lured a seagull down with a pizza crust she found in her purse and preceded to grab it out of the air by it's neck.
The guy in the American Flag bikini was telling the women he was disgusted at the amount of alcohol they weren't drinking. Then it got ridiculous.
Its only 9:11 and I just somersaulted through a window. Its gonna be a good night
I just saw a guy in a sombrero and holding an inflated blow-up doll in all her "glory" get escorted out of the mall. I hate Marley.
I AM TEN TEQUIA SHOOTS ON AND I JUST SAW SOMEONE DO A BODY SHOT OFFF OF JESUS
THIS FEELS SO WROG AND OH SO RIGHT
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The guy who's car I hit last night just followed me on Twitter...not sure how to feel about it.
You were wearing a cookie monster onesie and telling everyone you were actually the sausage monster..
On the bright side I still got laid
Just broke my no shot rule again.. Made out with a stranger. That's 0 for 3 this month for the record
We just had sex on an abandoned logging road while wearing snow shoes. God bless Montana boys.
You know it was a good night when visa fraud prevention services are calling
And here I am, playing fetch with my cat at two in the morning.
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