What a fucking waste of an outfit
You should see what I'm doing to your stuffed animals
twelve hours since my last beer and i just blew a .08, time to go to the library
Sooo sorry about that. And crying. And comparing my life to a duck
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm expecting you to come by soon and a magical night of sex and floating on clouds to follow.
While eating post sex burritos I dripped taco bell sauce on my boob. He licked it off and asked why I hadn't thought of that before.
thanks for piggy backing me around for the rest of the night when I got too drunk to stand.
And then I fed you egg rolls in bed as you were screaming I'm moving out
I should not be allowed to be in possession of a fifth and a phone at the same time.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well statistically J has a 1 in 3 chance of hospitalization when downtown
And a 3 for 3 for disapeearing
we will now reference it as "the infamous double dick night"
Would it be inappropriate to meet you at the airport after your family vacation so I can tell you all about the amazing sex I have been having?
OMG WE ARE UP TO THREE MINORS WORKING HERE. I AM NOT READY FOR THIS MID LIFE CRISIS.
He was my first marine! I wanna remember his name!
Throwing up in a storm drain... Not my finest moment.
But my shoes looked boss
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