I learned much from the teen babysitter: I can light a cigarette in a microwave.
He fucked a visibly pregnant girl. It doesn't get weirder than that.
i mean, i stole her boyfriend and beat her snake score on facebook within 48 hours. not her week.
get over here now. the boys are doing shots of everclear, chasing with monster, and some dude jsut walked in with a backpack full of tattoo gear.
You see.... Im at the point in my life where pissing in a toilet is a luxury for me
Homeboy was juggling while taking bong rips. Of course he got laid.
"Home for the holidays" isn't clearance to fuck the recently 18 year old high schooler right?
Nope, his last birthday was.
If you can get her to make out with you without paying for it, I will personally make you president of the american lesbian league
She may be more beautiful than I am, but I bet she hasnt pissed in as many public places as me...
I just met a stripper in the light of day who I ate a candy bikini off her body. This is how my weekend is going.
Its my nipple ring piercing anniversary. We need to celebrate.
She is still drunk from the night before, sitting here eating KFC mashed potatoes and drinking Arbor Mist before Anatomy lab.
Let's just grow old together and be the crazy ladies that sit on the park bench, drinking booze from flasks and loudly talk about people who walk by.
I have filthy fantasies involving his tongue. My vagina almost exploded while he was licking that ice cream cone.
Very mixed signals tonight. He gave me the best handjob while gloating about the Superbowl to his dad on the phone. When he was done he left me on the sofa alone for ten minutes before returning with wet wipes beer and nachos.
Randomize
