I want to kish your cheek
My cheeks are in Michigan
Oh my lips are kind of stretchy
She's just bitter because she lost all the weight only to discover she doesn't have a pretty face after all.
IM INA KID IN KING ATURHTS CUNT!
A Kid In King Arthur's Court? Like the movie?
CUNT. CUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUNT
We just took the batteries out of the fire alarm to play the breathalyzer game. I love college.
what's for breakfast?
Advil and throwup
after the first blizzard, i went out and bought a thirty and put it in a cooler and hid it out in the backyard. now the second blizzard has deposited 2 feet of snow on top of said cooler. there is a shovel and treasure map over here waiting for you
Just TALKING to him is better than banging my bf, imagine what actual banging will be like.
I have been running off of weed, alcohol, and Mexican food. What is Tallahassee.
Please tell me how you drunkenly remembered your social security number when we were checking you into the ER.
I'm lying here drinking water from a shot glass..moving is not an option right now
Oh thank the gods of upholstery, i thought that was never coming out...
You're too morally constrained. I firmly believe that you should be less concerned with how young she is and more excited by the fact that she's not jailbait by virtue of a legal technicality.
I came in and I guess my parents didn't hear me. My dad just said "Don't be lazy, RIDE IT." to my mom. Never coming home again.
And that facial hair. He might as well shave it so it spells "douche" on one cheek and "nozzle" on the other.
I tried to text you about going to the Lion's Den but sent it to my boss. She was down for it. Please advise.
Randomize
