dude we were spooning naked in bed with her ass in my crotch. she sharted in her sleep all over my dick.
took acid and went on safebus. all the lights were off except the adds. swear to god it was a submarine
I wonder if i passed any courses from last semester
She passed out in my bed last night before anything happened. She felt really bad about that, so she gave me head when we woke up this morning.
I'm drinking keystone with a homeless man I found. It's making me feel uncomfortable.
he turned the pretty ricky playlist on. its about to go down.
she told me to hold the wheel while she hung out the sunroof and cursed the old lady behind us out.
So my date night ended with us watching porn with his roommate.
Omg. One night stands are not supposed to show up to your swim class the morning after. Worst lesson ever.
Make puking fun. Chug half a monster right before you blow. Throw up foam. Most unique experience ever.
I knew things were bad when I walked in on you feeding juice to your iPhone
Someone put a huge skyy vodka bottle in our washing machine. My roommate didn't see it and ran it. The washing machine split in two. #life
My flask has coffee in it for finals week.. So that's responsible right?
He posted a picture from Senor Frogs. I don't remember where that bikini came from and my sombrero is PERPENDICULAR. Safe to say it was one hell of a day
You ran out of his house yelling "I got the goods!" Then you pulled toilet paper rolls out from under your shirt.
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