I'd wear matching sweaters with you
he is naked. in. my. bed. happiest day. of my. LIFE.
i found you on the dancefloor with your cell phone to your ear saying that you didn't like the music they played at the club so you were going to listen to your own
he found you with your pants down, trying to straddle the urinal. no one should have to see their sister like that. ever.
Whenever I'm not in the mood and don't want to go to bed swampy, I just strategically suck him off during the second period intermission of the Cup playoffs and he leaves me alone and does the dishes. It's a win-win.
Did you high five my face last night?
Yes. Yes I did.
I woke up without my clothes on covered up with a towel on the floor because for some reason I took a bath in my clothes at 2am.
I just had the most intense bikini wax of my life, i felt like i needed guardrails
Do you think there are two dudes living in an apartment somewhere that go to the store and call it Brocery shopping?
Oh god...probably.
I haven't been hungover in so long I'm actually looking forward to it
I made out with a guy so that I could get ahead in the bathroom line, totally acceptable
I sign my lease Thursday, I'm about to be released back into the wild.
I'll make missing person signs.
You're a good friend.
We didn't have a place to have sex. So we timed the automatic car wash & spent $9 for 3 minutes and 45 secs of car sex.
Welcome to your 30’s, where every one night stand is most likely with someone’s father
His mom showed up at my doorstep, begging me to take him back for him
Where do you find these people?
Randomize
