Whoa. I woke up to 10 new text messages. All about bacon.
weed brownie and a latte, breakfast of champions
You were directing traffic around her for 30min after she passed out in the middle of the road.
You really are best friends.
He gets you donuts, dinner, and booze consistently, who cares if he's cheating
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You've got the short couch unless you find some girl to take you home
Challenge accepted.
Ask if he wants his tooth back. It's in the freezer. In the box of hotpockets.
we've coined the Sunday morning ritual of taking out our puke-filled trash cans as The Trash Of Shame
Thoughts of banging the girl who just opened my beer with her teeth?
I just need three more girls to complete my 'Freak-a-leak' bang list. Know any girls named Zahra, Shavon, or Daronda?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The more and more I think about it, the more I realize... it's not ok to just pull over on the side of the highway to pee... I'm sorry I argued that
Personally, if my roommate had a nice friend who made me dinner, gave me free beer, a 4am meal, a couch to sleep on in an apartment on the beach, and breakfast when I woke up, and I found out that said roommate was fucking her, I'd be all... right on! She's cool! Thanks for the quesadillas!
You can't just snapchat me a picture of a pregnancy test and then not answer your phone
We went camping and met these lesbians and now I have S'mores where there shouldn't be S'mores.
According to timehop today marks the 3rd anniversary of my 1st blackout
Grumpy Cat is dead and fuck EVERYTHING.
Randomize