i just fell asleep at my computer and i woke up and in the google bar it said delicious foods to eat
Party in the USA is so catchy!
Yea, so is AIDS.
You're the 8th person from last night to text me this morning and ask if I'm ok.
I didnt shave my beard last night, so I could feel it while Im shrooming today
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Man, the last time I saw you you were giving me a thumbs up while being pulled out the bar by your belt from some girl.
I think if I could use my boobs as a second pair of hands everything would be ok
Thats the worst face I've ever seen you make an I've seen you throw up in your own hair.
Just smoked pot with a guy who has apparently been living in the woods for over a month. He just walked out of the woods. This is not real life.
This is the second girl that said she wanted to fuck me while wearing a clown nose. Fuck online dating
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You were definitely drunk. You gave him an otphj in front of everyone.
I wouldn't know what to do. You never really mentally prepare for a cactus getting thrown at your face.
So now I know what having sex while surrounded by chickens feels like.
you said "it's karaoke night" and tried to use my dick as a microphone
Oh, the accent alone guaranteed a bj. It was when he started drunkenly singing in PERFECT PITCH that I knew I was fucking him.
You do realize it’s only a matter of time before I have a bad day and come home with an alpaca?
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