Do you ever creep on the girls you have banged and wondered how their walk of shame went?
Another night, another sound of my neighbor almost having an orgasm.
And she used to have such long ones. Sad.
I'm thinking about that time I was in a trashbag and you spray painted my hair yellow
Home. Barefoot. Drunk. Crying. Puked. Brushed teeth. Washed face. Dying. Need Cuddle.
Me. You. Shitty green clothes from Savers that we will dub alligator costumes. Middle of the quad tomorrow at noon. Bring your alligator voice and the pearls before swine comic.
I knew it was a good Wednesday night when I woke up tucked in to NOT my own bed with my beer helmet, an empty bottle of Jose, and a trash can placed in front of my face.. Happy 20th!
I just listened to "Eye of the Tiger" and did 5 shots to prep going over to see him.
I was just hoping for a dick worthy of his established age.
She told me she's dating him because his apartment is a block from Taco Bell. I don't know how she's not fat.
A big thanks to that bride-to-be, Her fiance and his loaded friends will forever hold a place in my heart for the generous tequila body shots on the couch at Henry's.
Idk you're asking me for advice on dating bro, after I told you I got a convicts number today.
If anything I look like a soccor mom going out for her annual ladies night. Trying hard, but not quite in her twenty's anymore.
i asked your drunk ass where the fuck you were going and you screamed “WENDY’S BITCH”.
Sorry you saw my balls. Pregame includes a lot of shaving.
I know I may be showing my age by saying this but this is the first time I have been eaten out in the parking lot behind the Clairmont Inn since 1990
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