dude she licked ball and has every Are you afraid of the dark episode on dvd
lock that shit down
So it turns out my dad calls his penis "John" which means he either named me after his penis or his penis after me
Why did you leave me a note saying 'find the canary'
Well the police had to intervene and I couldn't exactly feel my legs by the end of the night, but I'd say it was a successful Friday night.
So I craigslisted sugar daddies and I'm pretty sure I found us one if you can pretend to be asian.
You know my ex in high school who cheated on me and dumped me right before prom? A decade later, I just saw her again...working at an Arby's. it was a good day...
I just face planted on a condom wrapper in my bed...thought of you.
You're so romantic.
I just had sex with the male version of myself. looks, mindset, even our boob to dick ratio was the same
Don't remember our skype call last night too well, but did I pee while skyping you?
I'm wandering around outside asking things if they are god
And now let us go forth, and be garbage people in public.
Isn't that our default mode?
She forgot a bra so she just used seran wrap. The scary thing is, it worked.
Hey, you should go to your facebook ASAP... i'm guessing you're wasted but you just uploaded a picture of someones dick...and everyones taking bets now if its Rick or Mikes..
I can't wait to see you again. It will be like when we first started dating- but with less clothes.
Why do all my exes just become Tom Hanks in Castaway?
That's a fantastic question. And an odd set of criteria to meet if wanting to date you.
Randomize
