90% of the problems in your life are directly related to your vagina
Neighbors just bought a new bong. Got high with them and we decided to name it "Gary colemans sweet sugarlumps" these guys are hilarious
We had an indepth conversation about his employment at Arbys..
I'm kind of concerned that there are now two different videos of me with knives
Did you bedazzle the elevator?
when you agree to fuck a guy it does by NO means make it okay for his roommate to hide in the closet with doritos and watch
i'm soo broke, the only trip i can afford for spring break is acid
When we asked you how you got there you replied in all seriousness, "rode my legs"
I miss living with her. She was the only person who was a bigger train wreck than I am.
Hope you don't mind if I never tell my family about you.
I feel as if I need Plan B just being in the same room as them for more than 5 minutes.
Well you know I have tits so that's half the battle
I spilled wine on my pillowcase and I figure it's basically my lifeblood so I'm just leaving it
"Being an adult" and "being happy" are two circles that do not overlap in my Venn diagram of life.
Talk shit all you want but with my new knife sharpener I have a lethal razor sharp pizza cutter. Fuck with me Mario I dare you!
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