i woke up in his bed, he had my shirt on
and high school musical 3 was playing on his lap top
If I sit on the seam of my jeans just the right way when the bass hits, this might be my new favorite band.
you may be an alcoholic when your drug dealer calls to yell at you for drinking too
Some dude at the gas station right now is buying a 30 rack of beast and a can of cat food. Happy Thanksgiving.
I had fun last night. We should have sex less often.
On a scale of 1-10 how seriously are we considering being sugar babies?
I'm about a 7.95
Yeahhh, everybody is so helpful when a pretty girl is crying hysterically and has only one shoe and a six pack.
Why are you awake at 6am and liking photos from rando Russian chicks on Instagram?
We're following a guy carrying a door for beer pong at his place..join us when you are deemed sober enough to leave the hospital.
i may or may not have triedto pee like a boy and then dipped cheese ino the olive oil
You asked for 4 things: your phone, your wallet, your keys and your denture. I stopped asking questions.
i woke up face planted on your ottoman..thanks for letting me sleepover
We aren't doing Shrooms tonight bc that would be friendship cheating on you
I'm not in the business of asking people about their lizard
I meant his actual lizard not his manhood
the cops drove by and you were on your back in the middle of the side walk with your arms and legs in the air yelling that you were a dead bug .
Randomize
