It wouldn't matter if you are Jesus Christ himself, you are not getting into the bar tonight
do you remember what downloading porn with a 14k modem was like?
Ha i know. My vag can't go too crazy for a boy halfway across the country. It doesn't have that good of range
Her vagina was like a man-sized safe.
So can I buy you a drink sometime?
Sure, but make it a double, I'm drinking for two these days.
i do not condone bathtub ky wrestling
She used my dick as a microphone to sing "any way you want it" I'm in love.
oh, i've got big weekend plans. on an unrelated note, do you think viagra will work if the guy is roofied?
obviously my window is still shattered. they're pressure washing my condo today. i think i need a bloody mary.
I've honestly never felt so much emotion towards a wall
How are you getting in?
I know some influential drag queens
STOP IT RIGHT NOW IM BEING A SINLESS CHILD OF GOD IN BED TRYING TO SLEEP AND YOURE SENDING ME MEMES ABOUT DICKS
Come on, what straight woman, gay man, or bi person HASN'T scrolled through Justin Trudeau pictures after a bad day?
Hey. You got pizza and sex. How much more can you ask for?
I would have wore underwear last night if I knew I had to change a tire this morning
Randomize
