Dude, I don't think I'll ever be able to find a girl for me...
Is this the gay conversation?
she used her cellphone as a light to find my clit under the sheets. worst.lesbian.ever.
I truly believe that the solid foundation of any healthy relationship is a drunken one night stand so I can just get all the nasty shit out on the table
It's like a challenge who can be the biggest embarrassment to the family. I win 80% of the time.
Stop giving guys blow jobs because you're no good and it's messing up my sex life. Word gets around & then they think it's me and don't believe me when I say I have a twin. Learn to stuck dick right.
All I want is a guy who will love me and occasionally shave my balls.
We're all just looking at each other quietly, hoping that no one brings up last nights shenanigans.
I ate the last cupcake. I'm sorry. It was in the refrigerator mocking me. So I ate it. And it was glorious. But I'm sorry.
Didn't get carded at the bar. We're getting wasted and then walking over to Bass Pro Shops to watch the indoor ducks swim around. And possibly buying a tent.
Sometimes intelligent conversation doesn't mix well with a romantic interest. It's possible the two are best kept separate. Toys should just stay in the toy box.
I think getting right with the Lord should involve more than me and a bottle of tequila.
Sex to movie scores is my best choice of the year. You've had an orgasm but have you had an orgasm with an entire orchestra.
My condom drawer is now filled with W-2s and tax return documents. Is this adulting?
He took home that trashy slut from Bama but a NFL Lineman was just in my DMs so... who’s the real winner here
Well hell, he's gotta sleep in the bed he's made. Multiple times. For multiple girls I'm sure.
Randomize
