Hey theres a creepy ass guy stalking our house.i would look alive geting in 2nite.
If you're really into hairy Serbian chicks, Cleveland has a lot to offer(216): We're going to cougar night, the serbian chicks are the best aged.
I'm at the bar with Ashley what should I do?
humiliate her
You want to go to a white party at LAX
Clubs are lame especially themed ones. Im not in a fucking episode of laguna beach
I envy you so much. I get girls who pee on my floor and you get girls who leave in the middle of the night
Leaving ole miss girls house to go to the stripper girls house. Why did it take losing my job to start getting laid all the damn time?
no dude I'm not doing anything bad to her...remember she's always the DD she has blackmail material on literally all of us
I sleep texted my mom and asked her for a condom last night
Just checked in with my friend who walked in on us. He thinks you two had a spiritual connection and he's bugging out
He was also rolling face on molly so his perception of divinity might be slightly off
You kept ranting how Captain Planet is getting shortchanged in the superhero department. Other than that you kept it together
He literally just laid flat on top of me motionless at one point. It felt less like foreplay and more like he was trying to use me as a flotation device. 0/10
I grabbed the pretzel bag with my toes last night. I think that day of yoga had paid off.
Somewhere on my work laptop I have a map visualizing all the area codes that Ludacris has ho's
I hope that wasn't done on billed time
I can guarantee that it was
you have 30 seconds to convince me not to grab this guy's crotch in front of his girlfriend
I'm not gonna lie. I need sex like plants need water right now. I just need the dick.
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