Well apparently he's into motor boating.
i called my brother from the living room and paid him a dollar to turn off the light in my room. ive hit rock bottom
is drinking for groundhog day legit?
well you blacked out on MLK day and we pregamed arbor day, so yes
I couldnt decide if i wanted to pee first or vomit. So i Peed sideways while throwing up into the tub.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude..her orgasm sent her into a seizure...theres no joke here. It happened.
I had to do a class evaluation today & the girl beside me didn't fill in any bubbles she just wrote in huge letters RETIRE across the whole sheet
you're being stingy. if you didnt want people to have sex on your couch, you shouldve specifically said so.
i feel like this needs to be a 'lose some teeth' kind of weekend.
We went to the casino to try to earn enough money to go to new Orleans comfortably. I'm already drunk. This is a horribly immoral start to summer.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She climbed up the stairs with three brownies in one fist, two in the other, and one in her mouth. Also, she opened the bedroom door with her foot. I may be in love.
Was expecting a sext from Kristi and then my mom randomly sent me a pic of her ugly Xmas sweater. Worst. Buzzkill. Ever.
Having sex with my girlfriend wearing my old Tom Brady jersey on the day he's freed is the closest I'll come to a 3way with Tom
Pretty sure by 1p, she had fucked all of my bodily fluids out of me. I'm now trying to replace them with bourbon so 2016 is turning out pretty good.
I'm drinking apple juice and champagne while watching crossroads..like the classy bitch that i am.
The only reason you haven't shit yourself yet is because you don't like having fun.
Randomize