Just brushed my teeth...forgot we used this toothbrush in bed last night.
I did a mental Irish jig when he pulled out the second condom.
she is graduated, working for the school, and puking in the bathroom of a frat house. she wants brush her hair so she doesnt "look trashy". im in love.
We watched a biography of Frida Kahlo in class today. It was depressing. A chick with a UNIBROW just put my sex life to shame.
Bad idea pregaming graduation.... she just threw up before walking across the stage... i'm gonna miss this
Well ya in hindsight obviously offering the cop a jello shot was a bad idea
Pretending to be straight requires way more energy than I'm willing to use in this heat.
Let's put it this way, it's 9am and that box of wine looks like the cure
We're going clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
What will that accomplish?
It will accomplish clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
it was a 10 min screaming orgasm. i don't care that you were next door and didn't appreciate all the noise.
Road construction signs are deceptively heavy
The original plan involved fireworks and a lot more dildos but the new one is still okay.
All I remember is the bartender saying your sucking them down and waking up on the floor in my underwear
I don't know what to do about my nipple.
I am just High Enough to train A-Team of bodybuilding squirrels MMA techniques to tear you asunder. And it's not that I want to is just don't you make me do it!
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