Wouldn't pinatas filled with coke be awesome idea for cinco de mayo?
Anyways, i'm off to play with a rubber dick and a ouija board with two other girls...
how opposed are you to picking me up at the bar at 11:00am?
He looks like he has a penis
What the fuck
A good one, a good penis
Get in the lobby, you have to sign my boxers
So much for not drinking this week after this weekend.. Congratulations. U made it until tuesday.
Finally put clothes on I've been laying naked in the bed for approximately 4 hours since I showered and by showered I mean when I laid down in the bathtub with the shower on
I was high fiving everyone. I even high fived with the wall for doing such a good job suporting the ceiling and keeping us alive.
I'm not going to be your wingman while you are in the hospital.
the kid next to me in math class is drawing gay porn. it's good, but that is beside the point
Before consuming her Waffle House she did a few deep breaths and cleared the table to "prepare herself for this"
Masterbating to Tolstoy. You?
I woke up saran wrapped to a chair....
I’m pretty sure I have teeth marks on my neck
"Why is there a bottle of Tequila taped to the fan?"
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