ugh, i have officially sinned in all of my cute clothes. i can't even wear any of them without feeling regret.
maybe if you didn't yell 'buh duh duh da duh da dats all folks' when you came she wouldn't have left last night
He just made his dick say "woof" and howl at me. can you pick me up?
Just threw up off a chairlift. my life is now complete.
yea, the bartender wouldn't serve you because you kept asking for "a slice of beer"
there's no food at this bar, but i'm pretty sure vodka is made of wheat so i'm basically drinking bread.
This exeeds the amount of high I planned on being.
just lying in bed drinking beer with a straw waiting for motivation. why?
Would it be weird if I told you I thought of you when I masturbated?
Looks like I'm more than just your Mexico mistake...
I feel like drug tests are a little less "random" when you are employed by your father.
Package arrived for me from the gf while she's on vacation..under the bed bondage kit and new lingerie...my boner could drive to the airport
going on a mission to find my pants and the guy who stole my beer don't wait up
he bit THROUGH my nipple
plus side, no need to pay for a piercing.
I DID NOT GO INTO HOURS OF STRENUOUS LABOR FOR YOU TO LOOK LIKE A DOMINATRIX BARMAID ON A WEEKDAY. AT LEAST SAVE IT FOR THE WEEKEND GDI.
This is the perfect outfit to do ketamine in, I must say
Randomize
