For the record, a bath beer is far superior to a shower beer...
I don't think you have the libido for two women at the same time
I think you underestimate the amount of time spent masturbating
I feel like the way you told me you weren't pregnant was pretty anticlimactic.
WAKE UP!!! We have 20 minutes to get to class. That means we only have 10 minutes to get drunk.
I don't think you understand. I woke up under the car. At 3 am. In the club parking lot.
Toppless hop-scotch needs to become a competitive sport
Nutrition teacher wants anything i eat or drink documented for the week including dancefestopia. Do you know the recommended daily ammount of psylicybin or MDMA?
I was sleeping pretty good until your cat pooped loudly. I dreamed that a full grown man was pooping on my ear. It startled me.
to drive Frat boys away, one just needs to cat-call at them. It makes their masculinity weaker, and yours stronger.
I am pretty sure I just put SoCo in the bird feeder
Our night has progressed to doing coke off a laundry machine through a parking ticket
if jesus wore shoes made out of pure flavor and hurricane kicked u in the face thats how it feels to eat pizza bites right now
What is it in my brain that makes me look at a penis and think "that belongs in my mouth"?
i spent most of my hangover doing the math to figure out the last of the alcohol would be metabolized from my system.
thank you pre-med degree.
Dont... please don't. Don't fuck him on his bean bag bed
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