Walk of shame was bad enough, but farting with each step as I walked past his roommates was just not cosmically fair.
Someone sharpied 'shit show' on my tits. Someone with excellent penmanship
I managed to convince my mom that my hickey was a birth mark I have always had. She cried for an hour about being a terrible mother for never noticing it.
Do you know how hard it is to write about pediatric crohn's when we're trying to figure out the keg situation for graduation?
Jesus once told his disciples that its better to hang out with your best friend than give some douche bag a bj.
He was fucking her while he was wiping my tears.
If it makes you feel any better, karma just served me up a big dose of fuck you.
Wow i don't think I've had to send this many texts apologizing for my behavior since high school...
Sorry about flashing you in front of your mom.
Oooo yea. You face planted on my bed but only half your body made it so you noodled onto the floor but kept saying prepare to be murdered which is when you started taking your pants off but stopped at your ankles cause it was too hard
I will read books by day and do guys by night. A mental and physical enlightenment, if you will.
That shit was hard as fuck. It felt like a mountain entering my vagina.
I may have broke the toilet masturbating. On a positive note the floor is really clean now.
Fuck it. I'm going for it. You're only young once, right?
You've been saying that for 5 years now. Let me know when the novelty wears off.
She looks like a character that batman would try to kill, or something.
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