who let me buy 6 packs of big league chew? and eat them all? thats not cool
Nick had a break down & said to me "Everybody's mad at me, I'm the douchebag, Im the fucking douchebag that everyone hates, Do you wanna come home with this douchebag?!"
You're going home with him aren't you?
I'll see ya in the morning when I leave his house
looks like were buying each other an abortion for our one year present...
he was writing an apology letter to his liver in shakespearean english... That much fun...
Just topless shotgunned a bud light alone. I am about to peer mentor the shit out of these freshmen.
just tried to pee in the sink at wendys...need to stop letting my drunk habits get into my sober life
So on how many levels of wrong is it that I'm reconsidering my divorce simply because I don't want to go through getting used to shitting around someone again.
I happen to have lost a black t-shirt and the volume button from my phone last night. If anyone finds it. You know what to do.
This late night dumpster diving sesh is making my quads cramp up
Good thing my vagina doesn't have a chronometer on it. I'm sure my fiance would be horrified. Probably 10 miles from this past weekend alone.
Please hurry. I'm the only one here who's not an attorney with a trophy wife.
the shoes thing blows my mind idk how the fuck i did that and im also missing 4 of my birth control pills like did i drunkenly decide to overload my body with estrogen
I'm like a freaking volcano of life and sexual frustrations
I'm so festive that I used my jack o lantern bucket as a just in case barf bin
His ex told me that she wanted me to "take care of" him but from the way she said it I couldn't tell if she wants me to look after him or murder him.
Randomize
