I proposed and she said yes man.
You realize the irony of surrendering on independence day, right?
theres a middle aged lesbian couple holding hands on the bus and a 17 or 18 year old christian girl visibly staring freaked out and audibly praying about it
just so you know, the uglier twin gives better bjs..don't be deceived
i would eat my own dick if it were covered in nutella
and on the fourth day, god made foam parties.
Apparently last night drunk me put my phone in a cup of beer to make it "fun scented".
I just remembered I opened the taxi door when I was at a red light last night and puked. And then when I was done I closed the door and told him he may proceed with caution.
i get of class at 4. it takes me 17 minutes to walk home and 3 to load a bowl. thank you, priority registration.
Going out so taking the 2nd 1/2 of beer w/ me ont'tube in a Pringles tube. I give money to people on the street that have more self respect.
Ummm Im the uneducated alcoholic of the group... if I say its a bad idea, its probably a bad idea.
This bitch rocks a fuckin fanny pack and still manages to lose her phone at every thirsty thursday
multitasking: i'm now sitting up and smoking my joint.
I took it upon myself to take one shot of tequila to have an excuse for hitting on my not-single coworker. It worked.
After we had sex he told me it was a "goodbye gift". We haven't talked since.
Seriously I am not buying you condoms anymore. You're 22, if you aren't woman enough to buy them yourself then you don't deserve orgasms. Grow some tits.
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