I just encouraged Kelsey to make out with some guy for beer so I could take one, does this make me a pimp?
By definition I think it does.
So this is what it feels like to be all that is man.
Dude, I found out the hard way that she wipes back to front. I ate her out and had to throw up.
It was so good the neighbors even had a cigarette.
Worst relationship ever. Keep in mind I've dated two married chicks and a Mormon.
Family bonfire. I just discovered my cousin drank an entire bottle of champagne at the age of 7. I just got showed up.
My mind hurts. I feel like I drank sand yesterday.
So who won the naked front yard Olympics last night?
Well my tits are spray painted gold & i have what i think r the Olympic rings shaved in my vag !!!!!!!SO its safe to say i won something ....
This storm betta not fuck with taco tuesday
You told me that they girl who was giving you a handjob under the table looked a little like your sister
Are you doing that thing where you're convinced I made a terrible decision
Daily.
It's gotten to a point that when guys say "I'm gonna cum" I've developed a habit of responding "dooo itttt" in a deep voice. #isthatweird
I'm giving head in a stairwell, I'll be back in a few minutes. I'm so ashamed.
Well just give me the address, I'll bring the bourbon. If they let that into mental institutions
You have the most beautiful penis I've ever seen. I never thought penises were meant to be beautiful, but you proved me wrong
I'm "drunk text both siblings" drunk.
Randomize
