First, he can't make me cum.. And now, he can't get it up because he LOVES me?!!??! i don't think so.
should I fuck that poor girl
no dude she won't be able to afford a fucking abortion
eww mummy girl is here...
what the fuckk. i just want to hold her down, wax her eyebrows, and give her some morals.
I have been drinking at the bar so long today that I literally just found a spiderweb from my leg to the bar.
I offered you a bag but you said "I gotta break in the new carpet" and you puked all over the floor
you reached into a lemon drop to pull out a lemon of someone else's drink..
I took a few sips of my hugeee bottle of liquid Vicodin and smoked my one hitter and now I'm going thru my attic like Indiana Jones
Mid way while flirting with this super hot chick at the bar, he gets up and says no thanks I'm only 19 and gay just waiting for my buddy to hurry up and get with your friend.
I have no idea. I think this is what happens when people take drugs in the middle of the day
Someone posted a printout of my tits on my door this morning! Where did they get this photo!?!
There is a mobile STD testing unit set up at my place of employment. In the lunchroom. I may need to reevaluate my career choices. And my lunch plans.
Seeing the pictures of him and i, I'm giving whiskey the win on this one. Definitely had beer goggles.
OMG IM A TIGER AND I LOVE ROARING
I found some video of you on my camera that's like 5 seconds long, where you announce that you should have been a dentist before taking a bong hit.
Go to hungover. Go directly to hungover. Do not pass go. Do not collect 200 dollars
Randomize
