The guy I fucked in the port a poty just called me and asked me on a date!
Awkward!
No he was cute and I said yes!
I just heard a girl say "We can't go that way, it is a one way street." She was on foot...Nothing worse than girl from the midwest that move to NY to "live out their dream" -the dream of living in a rat and roach infested 200sqft for $2k a month, and get fucked by some recent Ithaca college frat grad...
john hughes is dead. crushing any and all dreams of me ever being in an 80's john hughes film. bummer.
He def has a gf... But hes 7 feet tall and that superceeds any morality I may have.
I can neither confirm or deny any bear related allegations right at this time.
Just a heads up, i'm sleeping in te back seat of your car so don't be freaked out when you see me in the A.M.
All I wanted was a quiet evening to masturbate and eat cake and instead you ruined it by bringing girls over.
I have cum and leaves all over me. Don't ask questions.
He could smell the liquor on my breath. Fuck. I thought he would smell French toast.
I should not be so motivated by a penis, but I am
I still can't get the taste of her nipples and the udon noodles out of my mouth
You guys I wore sweatpants to work today because I simply forgot to put on real pants and I had a weed brownie and a juice box for breakfast. I am not ready for parenting.
why isn't there a kind of gay where i let guys give me head but they don't expect me to give it back? i could be that kind of gay
He was that good?
You poured a bottle of water into the salad bowl and said "bowls are a joke" and then poured it into your lap.
Do you have any idea how awkward it was to type ‘dog twerking’ into google search? Because I don’t think you do.
Randomize
