Just found out you can rent the rollerena for 100 bucks and you can bring your own beer... when are you free this week?
I just need to know if he's either really genuine about being in my life or being in my vagina.
How dare she call you insensitive. Should have told her about the time you let that girl in the wheelchair wearing the sombrero blow you.
I really need to find a new way to reward you other than head scratches, nutella and blowjobs.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I had something called a trashcan. Never again. I almost fucked chewbacca.
Circle jerk is a real thing. It looks like five innocent virgins in a closet at my brother's bar mitzvah. Yeah, I walked in on that.
It was easier that asking where the vagina platter is.
You were drinking whiskey from a beer bottle i dont know what you really expected...
Can I trade you chipotle for a pregnancy test?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All I'm saying is this is the exact reason I should not be left unsupervised.
Let go out that Thursday night!
Yess sounds good, I have to go turn myself in the next day because what happened last Friday.
I want your attention. I want your attention in the form of your penis inside my vagina.
Just got home from work. I'm going to change into sweats for a while before I have to wear normal pants to the party like I promised.
I'm just letting you know right now in advance that if I die or go to the hospital or end up in jail tonight it's because your kid sold me mushrooms.
He said it was the classiest hand job he ever had because my nails were painted red. We need to go to nicer bars from now on.
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