Update. It gets worse. A) he's done viagra and B) he wears socks at all times.
when she said she would show you her other bow, she ment she wanted you to bend her over and see the tattoo on her lower back you idiot
He made a note in his iPhone tonight so that he would remember that I rejected him.
Her brother is definitely not gay. I hooked up with him when she was sleeping.
You look cute and you are awesome. And that means something coming from a judgmental bitch
You know what? I bet HE would do stormtrooper roleplay with me. I'm in.
REALLY should have cleaned under my bed before I had my parents come help me pack...things my parents just found: several condoms and a bottle of lube. My mom when she found a condom: "ooo ribbed. Laura's a lucky girl"
All i really wanna do tonight is get drunk with you and dance on tables. is that too much to ask?
I lost the bet. I now have to do all chores sans clothing of any kind. I give it a week before I'm knocked up...
I'll admit it. It was a bad idea to sneak a fart out while she was taking a nap. Can you bring me a pair of underwear from my dresser. Preferably the one with the walruses in party hats one.
He seems like a lot more than a waste of tequila
I wish so many great beards were not attached to even greater jerks. All that face sitting potential wasted. Some of the greatest tragedies of this century.
I woke up in my basement holding someone else's underwear and a bottle of mouthwash . I wish I could explain more than that but i can't remember ...
can we fuck so we can live up to our nicknames for eachother?
He had a small dick and screamed "I will kill you if you don't get hard" to it in German...awkward time to have to explain I speak German too...
This is why you need to stop sleeping with freshmen.
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