I look like a poor person in the cast of Gay Oliver.
My mom can no longer prohibit me from smoking pot..I sell to her boyfriend.
He is drunk texting me begging me not to tell my mom. Pretty sure he is about to offer me sexual favors for keeping my mouth shut. I love being the boss's daughter.
Wouldn't be the first time..I think there's a subliminal message constantly playing in my mind that says 'blackout', 'throwing up is fun' 'too sober'
thank you whoever used my nalgene as a flask. pregamin in chem
show concern. Mark ate a butterfly and proceeded to drink more shots like nothing happened
Hey nothing wrong with those! I can't believe the guys who let me see where they live on first dates. Even more surprising, I don't stalk them after they've done me wrong.
We just left the shoe. An app card to Fridays. $25 to santoras and a note that said sorry we were drunk on the front doorstep of the strip club
Nah. After about 5 shots he decided he needed to clean the gutters. We're headed to the hospital now so meet us there.
I'm sorry I never said I wasn't coming home last night. To my defense I did type and send a text, only I was too drunk to realize I sent it to the guy I was with instead of you.
How old am I that I had to sneak a boy out of my room this morning...
I'm thankful I didn't get drunk and shit my pants this year. 🦃
i think she learned that just cuz half shots were easier, doesnt mean she can have triple as many.
Fuck you, i'm all jacked up on bananas lets go somewhere
well that was a fail
maybe for you, but i got a free ice cube in my bra
Randomize
