I feel like this woman may give her husband a hand job mid way through dinner. just saying.
I found out he doesn't have a facebook, twitter, or myspace. So, I'm going to actually go to his house to spy on him.
should I fuck that poor girl
no dude she won't be able to afford a fucking abortion
Theres a picture of you hanging up on the wall in mcdonalds, i'm impressed
My mouth already tastes like senor cuervo took a piss in it and it's barely 1 am
in a garage, wearing a toga, theyre debating the logistics of Coke Pong. If I don't make it out of here... it was me who stole your Barbie in the 4th grade- I've never forgiven myself.
if by "adventure" you actually mean "getting ridiculously high and shaving our legs," then yes.
I'm being fed tequila grapes by a girl on stilts...
Hey when you wake up and read this, we really need to stop pullin our dicks out when we drink dude. I have all the pics, yall are assholes
made the entire pub sing the british national anthem, puked, rallied, then peed in a telephone booth and have pictures to prove it, taking tourism to another level since 2012.
I'm drunk off vodka and I haven't eaten today. I've never felt more like Kirsten Cohen in my life.
If you think eating a bowl of leftover stuffing and drinking champagne from the bottle in dirty sweats at 9am is sexy... Then yeah, I'm your girl.
We kicked down a door together last night, pretty sure that qualifies us as best friends.
Fuck this pandemic. She grabbed the hand sanitizer instead of the hand lotion while giving me a hand job and now my dick is burning and scrotum are on fire
A hand job? Are you 12?
I don’t care if there’s a pandemic. My husband gave me a hall pass for my 40th birthday and I’m going to use it!
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