You just made me feel so damn special
i'm pretty confident that i watched a woman making love to a german shepherd.
Contrary to popular belief, while 19 is an attractive age, it does not equate to sexual prowess.
He's 11. You dont draw dicks on 11 year olds, i dont care if he ate your lasagna
I lost count after the 4th body shot but I think I'm wearing at least 3 different peoples clothes.
just got tipped $5 to put a barbie in a waffle cone and drip caramel sauce on it while a group of dudes cheered and one took pics. 90% sure they were sober
I would personally love to see the surveillance video of me throwing my stuff inside, peeing on the sidewalk, then crying hysterically when I realized I locked myself out. Again.
Euphemism? No, "pantsless vodka yoga" is a legitimate pastime of mine
We played alot of beer pong and ventured into the woods with tiki torches
I saw pigeons eating ur dried up puke today. Last night was fucking great
AFTER I licked the bald guys head they told me we weren't playing
I'm 25 and I shit my bed last night. And I'm telling you about it. Not sure which is worse
He's so vague sometimes. Like dude, we've been friends for 3 years. I don't need you to be vague, I need you to be inside of my vagina.
I swear every time I see him he's either dancing or trying to touch people
That was the first time i’ve been physically intimidated by a LinkedIn profile.
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