so ur a construction worker, male escort, sex god and surfer? lol
well its been awhile since I've surfed
Woke up wearing just a scarf, the holidays are definetly here
At what point should shame kick in? Realising I had a one night stand with a man engaged or realising I am that man's wedding photographer?
He kept saying 'your mouth is Amazing' even after I was on his dick.
i yelled out "tuesday" during orgasim. he fucked me into 2 days from now.
yeah, we figured out that passing a joint between cars was a pretty bad idea
I paid some man $10 for his shirt last night cause I liked it. Explains that. Bought the jackolope head from a street vendor. Got invited to someone's hotel rooftop swimming pool which explains why I was in my bathing suit. My clothes from last night are MIA. Going over the border with no pants on is awkward. Origins of the car rim still mysterious.
i decided i'll just settle for a gay guy who can manage to fuck me like the straight guys do. but here i go again, talking about my dream man.
You don't want any of I have. Seriously. Its 80 proof rum that was 8 bucks for a liter. I'm afraid
I'm sure your liver is writing out a will as we speak
We were tripping too hard to figure out to tell him where we were so we sent a picture of me laying outside the tent saying "find us"
Emergency nipple ring removal:vodka, tweezers, and vodka. Can you bring me a band-aid?
If I don't quit picking up guys when I'm drunk, I'm going to need a vagina transplant.
I just wanna get high and take a fucking awesome nap. Those are my goals for the week.
I can't hangout tonight, I have a phone sex appointment at 10
I didn't even know his name until he texted me the next day and told me I should take a plan B pill. Thanks Danny.
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