woke up naked, spooning with wine bottle.. and my video chat was still open. fuck, not again.
Superbowl + Mdma, hope we're on the same page.
it took me 2 minutes to realize that it wasn't HER hand on my penis. First, and worst threesome ever..
If im still in the bathroom puking when the sirens go off please distract the cops.
I searched the house and found a small bottle of sherry which is probably as old as I am, has prob gone off and tastes like shit. I don't care any more. It has come to this.
I do what I can to inject something into your life every day. Today, humor. Saturday. Penis.
i wanted to ask her what his dick looked like but i thought that would be weird for the first time i met her
You should be proud. How many people can say they GAVE a stripper an std?
She told me she loves her boyfreind while she was giving me head. He must be a nice guy
A guy wearing a shirt that says "eat shit and die motherfucker" just held open a door for me. He's got manners.
I'll be there in spirit. Right there in your vagina.
Hey you remember last Super Bowl when I sent you a pic of my testicles? Memories...
You know Sunday Funday was a success when 'puke and rally' came at lunchtime on Monday.
Shriek
so i realized that he's only my physical relationship and beer is my emotional relationship...
I could see the visible disappointment when she saw my penis
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