So is it bad that I'm using this 21 year old for his hot bod and utter naivety?
No its what 21 year olds are made for
Come home. Im drunk and cutting my own hair. This is bad, i need you.
Jake died.
WTF????????? That's how you tell me????
Oops typo. Jake cried.
you thought that fire hydrant was a midget...you gave it a hug and asked for a lollipop.
We can smell you smoking weed from downstairs and your little brother is asking why the upstairs smells like gasoline. Please smoke in the basement. XOXO dad.
She wants out first dance to be to 98 degrees i do cherish you...remember how i said we didn't need open bar....
I'm eating dry tortillas on a mattress without a sheet. and i thought my life would change after graduation.
okay. this is james and youre probably never ever gonna see me again unless i really really really want some pussy. sorry.
I'm not surprised. You have the libido of an Italian soccer team.
When we were eating pie last night, I dropped some, and not only did you not judge me for far surpassing the 5 second rule, you let me use your foot to sock mop with. You're a good friend.
Is it frowned upon to bring a flask to the er?
Ur wingman ability is causing serious doubt
Ok first off its WAY easier if you are actually here
Nothing warms my heart more than the sight of a naked hockey player in my bed.
My ex's psycho new girlfriend found my vibrator I forgot at his place. Apparently she didn't find it as funny as I did. 😂
Thanks. I just smoked a bowl topless so I'm in heaven right now.
Randomize
