New rule: no balls on the kitchen counter.
I taped Calvin and Kyles heads together face to face while they were passed out. You should have seen them stumbling around using hungover teamwork trying to find scissors.
I dunno if we should get high tonight man. its daylight savings. time travel is just too much for me right now.
If I'm gonna go to jail I'm gonna be wearing a poncho
These 33 Eskimo Brothers Boinked The Same Person And Couldn’t Be More Proud
Don't freak out about the couches in the driveway. We tried to unpack the uhaul drunk.
The only requirement is that his name is Kevin... All other factors don't matter to drunk me. Drunk me likey Kevins.
I am currently exfoliating my skin with the toilet. We've never been so close.
He waited until after foreplay to tell me that he didn't have a condom and "we" would just have to settle for a bj tonight...
you seemed to enjoy falling down hill
wow, never heard the last few months of my life put so succint
17 Inappropriate Things People Did With Instruments
There are 144 bottles of wine in my mother's pantry. She just shrugged her shoulders and said it was for the wine pong tournament on Christmas Day.
Also we saw a clown getting arrested. Rochester is weird.
While I'm on hiatus from the Russian potato nectar, it is my wish for others to enjoy it in my stead.
For thanksgving we are only drinking wild turkey for the next 24hrs time to strap your balls back on and maybe a helmet
Ps we bought 8 pellet guns just now
How many drinks/blunt hits do you think I could get if I wore an "it's my birthday" shirt
We're snowed in with only two condoms. This will literally be valentines day russian roullette.