We went into lab today and when no one was looking i touched our cadaver's penis!
keep an eye on me. i'm afraid that after a few more drinks i'll ask to borrow his wheelchair.
Important info for allergy season. An orgasm will unblock stuffy sinuses.
Just got that "I know what's going on with your vagina" look from that CVS cashier.
You bought MORE?!
Dude, he threw a pool chair off of an 8 story building. It was a successful night I'd say.
You don't care if I shave my legs, but you insist I be conscious for sex. Whatever. I really think your priorities are out of whack.
Either sorry for fondling you Saturday or thank you for letting me fondle you Saturday.
There is pretty much a target on everyone's lips when I am drunk. EVERYONE
Martha Stewart has had a one night stand and is unsure if she's had a threesome. I no longer feel slutty.
I wound up gambling on giant connect four with the bartender. I think he saw my boobs.
Let's go. I'm waiting for my time to shine among the stars of never never land. Make sure you bring my Peter Pan costume this time. Shit's bout to get real glittery.
I'm just now starting to feel better... I remembered sleeping on the floor. I was peeing and saw his rug and it looked so comfy
He just used the word frick. Is that a possible red flag?
You have got to be the only man who has passed out while getting a lap dance.
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
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