Luol and I just scored with two 40 year old married chicks. They dropped us off on the way to soccer prctic. The kids in the back were confused. Call me.
I wish i could go to google and type in drug dealers and it would bring up a number, a product and direction
Ur just texting me random shit. That's what Twitter is for
whats the proper etiquette for returning a closet door to a random girl you met and do not know her name?
Being a responsible DD does not include attempting to coordinate a 4 taxi caravan to bar #3
not sure how we got back down, broken rib says we didn't use stairs
If I don't at least start a parade that spirals into drunken riots then I'm calling it a fail of a birthday
they paper machayed me.
i told you ... never pass out drinking with preschool teachers.
Currently getting "blaow" buzzed into my pubes. How's your thursday?
The only thing I remember is doing a toddlers and tiaras dance routine onstage. I fucking CURTSIED.
OMG stop. Pretty feet? Sparkle baby!
Well Apparently I went to piss out my window last night, woulda been ok if I opened the window or the blinds.
The yoga party turned into an underwear party because we are all incompetent when it comes to tying bed sheets.
This has been a Party Success Story
I swear, the cow we tried to tip tried to eat me. and all I could think was, oh how the tables have turned. worst trip ever
who sends a dick pic at 3 am on a sunday honestly
seriously. and now it'll take him hours to clean up the glitter
I'm just imagining Oprah like "you're popping a boner, and you're popping a boner...EVERYONE IS POPPING A BONER"