i dont nkow, theres a guy slesping next to me and im wearing 8 tsthirts? wtf happened last night? will you come get me.
i think im in thre room next to you
My favorite part of the day is the 2 seconds of ignorance you have when you first wake up. Right before you remember where your mouth was last night.
Bring mistletoe to the strip club, and they feel obligated. they dont even charge you
hey, when you wake up, search yourself on youtube
my sister already found it, were watching it right now. i give it 2 thumbs up.
Just shaved my vagina. It's been so long I forgot what it looked like. You need to come over right now.
he put listerine on his cock to make the taste more "enjoyable"... i think hes a keeper.
My lab manual has instructions for making home wine. Room project?
Also, lets remember that we have known each other for nearly a decade and our two most recent photos to one another are boxes of plan b
Not sure if creeper guy is too drunk to talk or I'm too high to listen.
Honestly and this might sound scary... But I want to get high and play with weapons
Took his shirt off. Announced he was Jesus. Threw up. Asked me to cuddle him to sleep. And then tried to kiss me. Typical Saturday night.
Yeah, it was all very half-hearted. In the middle of sex we both just stopped and looked at each other and said, "can we just sleep instead?"
That is so sad.
She was doing hand motions and used straws from drinks like those airport light batons to have me back my "747 jumbo dick" towards you.
I needed to pee, so I climbed out his window
Wow I really just sharted up in this Kroger
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