It's what's on the inside that counts(972): They probably have big open vaginas so the inside is no good
shit! I think I may have lost something in your car. Look for anything that can possibly belong to me, especially look out for a pair of pink panties in a ziplock. I lost my spare and you better find it before someone else does.
We had one of those mutual "I know your on a dating website, I won't tell if you won't" glances.
so i gave him head in the movie theater last night. thought we were alone til I heard the clapping from the other side of the theater after he'd finished.
He walked into the bar right as I was licking the shotglass clean. We made eye contact for way too long..
Its not that I don't mind giving her as much as my penis as she wants, its the post sex cigarette I have to supply. Shits $9 a pack.
Put a tip jar next to your bed from now on.
Your good ideas are reason #4 we need to live together.
She's a freaking stalker dude, it's like having some kind of cartoon animal just following around everywhere
Apparently when your theatre teacher asks who the best actor of our time is, Nicolas Cage is not the right answer.
Can't find our DD
He's backstage giving the strippers foot massages.They kidnapped him the moment he walked thru the door.
I lost a shoe at the club last night, I think that's when I decided to go home.
You want to know how I feel? I feel like Cady Heron pushed me in front of a bus last night.
Do not ever get that redhead chem major high. Gave her a magic brownie and she sat in a corner and literally cried about organic chem. Never again.
pls come over. need ride to hospital once taquitos are ready
Was just trying to have a normal "I fucked you without a condom" adult conversation and she flipped
I forgot to lock the door last night. I woke up cuz a guy opened my bedroom door, asked me who I was and where he was. And there was another guy standing in the living room asking me if I knew what apartment "Travis" lives in.
Randomize
