Loo but I'm already drunk TINIGHT! CAPS ATTACK
Alex texted me. Bootycall boy #2. its like an alarm goes off once i'm single that the line is open again
I'm just saying, margarita tuesday would turn anyone gay.
I accidentally got a lemon stuck in your bong. I was trying to make it taste good. Sorry
I feel a five day drunk coming on.
The liquor stores are closed! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! CURSE YOU SANDY!!!!
So scratching an ex marines beard, telling him "nice hairy pussy." then when he opens his mouth to respond, I started fingering his mouth. Needless to say was a horrible idea
i don't remember going ever taking off my pants but my pubes are shaved into a K and kelsey is passed out in the shower.
Could you imagine living in a city where bartenders are available by 1:30 AM
I'd have like 4 kids by now and at least one std
If you want it you better put a ring on it. And by ring I mean one of my three favorite pies.
It's only ok to pee out the window in the afternoon when you're drunk.
I did wake up to a random meat and cheese plate next to my bed, that was a thrill.
I have "if found please return to" written in sharpie on my arm, my uterus is rejecting everything, and I have hickies. I must actually be an 18 year old piece of shit girl instead of a responsible 23 year old
Haha do not judge my life style choices right now but me and Dj had sex twice and then he helped me pick an outfit out for my date
A world without bacon flavored condoms is not one I want to live in.
Randomize
