i take joy in having bigger boobs than others
I wanna dance tonight. i just wanna grind my ass in some man's dick.
frozen peaches as icecubes. vodka Sundays just got wayyyy better
The higher i get, the less gay he looks, and the more i want to make out with him. This is dangerous.
French people screaming and throwing stuff out the window. We told the manager and he's pissed and going up there. This is gonna be like cops. Maybe better than cops.
How many people can say they've shit on the floor of a five star hotel?
Just copped mushrooms from a dude in a business suit. U comin or what?
I think that all guys are assholes, some of them just have less assholeish qualities that we accept in our lives and that we can look past enough to deal. They have to be a pretty special asshole.
Hiking for a first date sounded like a good idea in theory because there was absolutely no possibility of me blacking out. In practice, I'd rather black out than go through what I just went through.
If I could steal your goatee and hide it under my bed to keep your from wearing it, I would.
It says something about our relationship that he stole your phone to tell me about his dick at 3am and neither of us realized that wasn't you until just now
I'm like a sensual ninja. You turn your head for a second and.... BOOM I'm naked. It's like a naughty magic trick.
I really don't think my body can handle another night of drinking
Lol you talk like you have a choice
I am worried that I am gonna die before the weekend is over
There better be alcohol at this child's birthday party. Seriously not trying to be entertained by a clown while I'm still sober.
I feel like a dancer trapped in the body of a math instructor. Love, Mom
Randomize
