I just hope this isn't happening Final Destination style
Travis Barker would totally be Devon Sawa in this scenario
we should become lesbians. not together. just in general.
The Fresno prostitute seemed offended all I wanted from her was directions back to the freeway.
she just came into my room, drunkenly shoved six dollars into my bra and told me to spend it on chicken wings.
He just walked up to be, grabbed my boob and said 'i think they have shrunk' i have no idea who he was.
It was like getting head from an anaconda
What bar did i puke in last night
by bar you must mean bars and by in you must mean on
I think I'm too tall to 69 successfully.
I think I might cry.
He just whispered "doors are weird" and then laughed so hard he fell down the stairs.
I'm not even mad. I was just trying to get a boner, you're the one that had to see that
I made that picture of you my lock screen. So I've just been standing around at work licking my phone all day.
I'm trying to poop and took acid, this is going to end horrid or wonderful. Oh the amusement park, not the pooping.
Same I threw up in 3 different cities already today
God I miss you. I would very much like to have sexual intercourse with you. I'm home eating chicken alfredo.
When you wake up and wonder why your bleeding and it feels like you jumped into a ceiling fan, dont worry. Ill explain it all when I wake up.
Randomize
