I'm playing a drinking game with nyc prep. This will not end well for meeee
Everytime the gay dude pretends he's not gay, drink a cosmo. Everytime the crosseyed girl is crosseyed, kill her
I am in the checkout line at the dollar store and there is a guy in front of me holding a pregnancy test, a chocolate bar, and fake roses. Champion.
After the tests come back negative, you guys will look back on this evening with fond memories...
I remember coming home with a cat... I havent seen it all day. Shit.
Kristy will be communicating through my phone. Due to her current blood alcohol level, the laws of Pennsylvania, Erie county, and common decency have deemed that she is no longer permitted to have her own phone.
At what point do you think my baptist preacher of a father will clue in that my brother "bringing a foreign exchange student" for thanksgiving means "bringing his european boyfriend and they'll probably fuck every night" for thanksgiving?
Moral of the story is go have sex with a foreigner and report back to me.
I made a wizard staff out of Keystone light... I am therefore the smoothest wizard in all of our university's history.
I asked him why I was having sex with him in the middle of having sex. It was sufficiently awkward.
hell hath no fury like a questionably-gay best friend scorned
She's lucky her pussy is worth listening to her ramble about bedroom furniture for 30 minutes
It feels so wrong having a picture of my tits next to a picture of my daughter.
You would critique a dick pic. Damn art people.
STOP PUTTING BUTTER ON MY FUCKING CAT
random boy in my bed. last night wasnt a dream. fuck.
Randomize
