we are at a mexican restaurant and the tv is playing mexican porn. dad won't stop watching.
we need to go to the store. i'm tired of having bud light for breakfast.
do you want me to pick up budweiser instead?
i feel like when youre not in my profile picture no one knows who i am.
Have you ever noticed how boring internet porn is after you cum? I can't shut my computer fast enough.
You know the gilmore girls would be alright if it was on mute the whole time
You are the worst kind of disappointment. The responsible kind.
Never again will we have slut saturday. Never.
My dick was out way too much saturday not to get laid
Hey fuck you and your taint. I'm just riding a canoe called life, back the fuck off. P.s. I need a ride
I'm so hungover all I can do is stare at my curser and hope it starts moving on its own
LET US USE OUR GENITALS TO CELEBRATE THIS VICTORY
I hope to God it's not the new neighbors having sex, because what I'm hearing sounds like a mildly defective vuvuzela or a cow giving birth.
That was so not worth putting pants on for.
You know your late night booty call was a huge fail when you go back to your car after it's over, and it's still warm.
Let's just say, I'm pretty sure you're banned from Skype.... like, forever.
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