Nicole vs. Life
And then falling down drunk the next morning, concussing yourself and splitting your head open?
That was pretty sad, but you more than made up for it by using "concussing" in a sentence
May God have mercy on my new vibrator.
i was in the bathroom puking my brains out, a girl walked in and said "i just came to do the same thing" so i told her i would move over and share the toilet. its better than being alone.
You know the gilmore girls would be alright if it was on mute the whole time
I don't have any food so I made a martini so I could eat the olives. Don't tell me I can't think outside the box.
the party was called freshmen disorientation. i was just following the theme
So I'm seriously debating forwarding these sexts to his horse faced new gf including the ones that say he still loves me... but I still need his check to clear... decisions decisions
Our motto for the night: BLACK OUT OR BACK OUT.
That's our motto every night.
that's the first time I've heard "shenanigans" and "apocalypse" in the same sentence
Landen experienced Greenville for the first time last night. He was awaken by 2 cops and 4 EMS guys this morning in the bed of that truck that is for sale at the swashbuckler carwash, said he was trying to walk to waffle house... Greenville- 1, Landen- 0
I think the biggest problem with being overhigh is when the kitchen was on fire and I was pointing and laughing and eating rootbeer oreos like it was fucking Ozzfest 2000
No joke. There's a picture of the priest I made out with on my parents' refrigerator.
Matt is trying to convince me that we have a deal where if I show him my tits he won't do cocaine. Apparently we shook hands on it?
I s2g I’m about to get ghosted by a 34 yr old and my Oedipus complex cannot take it
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