i wish you could fill a pinata with booze
Remember when we were mad at her for brining her mom on spring break? She just won the wet t-shirt contest. I think we owe her an apology.
this isnt the person you just texted but i have her phone. she disappeared when the bacon came home and she hasn't returned since.
I need a hobby that doesnt involve alcohol and my tv
WHATEVER CLASS IS PLAYING "TOOT IT AND BOOT IT" AT 8:30 IN THE MORNING, I WANT IN.
after I lost so many games of beer pong they made me be a troll, I sat under the table and told riddles while retrieving balls.
If he breaks up with me, your job is to keep me drunk and make sure I don't sleep with anyone. Ok?
You could become Eskimo brothers with my dad. How can you pass that up? You pussy.
He ended up buying the equivalent of dinner at a Mexican place, in weed
Oh boy I hope we come out of this alive. And with clean prison records
Where the hell did you pick this girl up? She just licked my cat and stole our last poptart.
I felt like I was selling my soul to satan but then I realized I already pawned it for drug money
I'm a grown ass woman. Treat me like one. Fuckboy
I thought the dude was just really enjoying his piss but apparently he was jerkin off into the urinal.
Im going for myspace 2006 goth bitch. Your worst nightmare
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