I'm literally partying with O.J. Simpson's son right now. I don't know what to make of this.
I was also standing on my bed with a road cone pounding on the ceiling at 3am. Not sure why
im swimming of confusion and bacardi. where do i go from herrrrrre
THAT WAS PROBABLY MY ONE CHANCE TO SLEEP WITH A MAN NAMED BORIS AND YOU RUINED IT.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm practically paying him in tacos to have sex with me.
So last night I learned something new. Whenever I drink beer out of a bottle a random guy buys me another one. It was like as soon as the glass hit my lips every guy in a 20ft radius got a hard on.
it was like teleporting. everytime i opened my eyes, i was somewhere different... usually the floor.
They got mad when I cut the pizza with an x-acto knife. Oh well, more for me then.
Well I'm going to hell. But I'm going after multiple orgasms.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why would you waste your Ritalin on your children?
WHY IS THE HAIRSPRAY SOUNDTRACK PLAYING IN THE LIQUOR STORE
You need to be on (or possibly create) the international emoji committee to address all of these glaring oversights
Sorry about the nipples in that snapchat. It was meant for the Australian.
When you wake up and wonder why your bleeding and it feels like you jumped into a ceiling fan, dont worry. Ill explain it all when I wake up.
I woke up to the sound of her peeing at the end of the bed at 4am.
Randomize