I'm doing lines by myself in the kitchen. I think your outside. yeah that's you. your naked.
Just a heads up, i'm sleeping in te back seat of your car so don't be freaked out when you see me in the A.M.
I was just expressing concern for your pickle consumption.
The orgasm outlasted the Charlie horse. Pros and cons.
Dude I broke her toilet blowing some dude. I wasn't going to turn down the 300$ he offered to fix it.
i know. like I have the nerve to talk about poverty. I eat peanut butter out of the jar.
Having weed delivered to your door is like having your own personal Santa Claus
I don't want to go back to the suburbs. Being drunk in public isn't ok and theres too many children. Don't make me.
PSA- Wearing assless chaps results in embarrassingly painful sunburn
Drunk sperm are not productive sperm.
I hate that I still want him to look at me as the vagina that got away.
She was here for a threesome... She doesn't have to put the new roll of toilet paper on the dispenser. She can leave the new roll wherever she wants!
We fucked on the roof... like that has to mean something
Found out that I went to the same elementary school as the guy I'm hooking up with. Kosher or no
I'd invite you over to drink but then I wouldn't be drinking by myself.
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