yo dibs on the gosselin haired one.
i just called corporate taco bell to ask about the life span of a chicken burrito.
apparently he's bringing me two things i like. he said one was him and i'm assuming the other one is his penis
Im just a social blackout drinker.
I accidentally lit my hair on fire and we broke the bed. How was your night?
This essay is so getting done. I am spurred on by thoughts of test-driving your newly shaven face by sitting on it as soon as humanly possible.
Woke up fully clothed in bed sleeping on my purse.....we're back!!!
I was about to take him home and fuck his brains out but then the police came and arrested him for the stolen credit card he had been buying me drinks with all night...
Best sex of my life. But I think it's because I like his apartment. Really nice bed sheets. High vaulted ceilings. I wanted to lay there forever.
You're getting old. Was it located in a nice school district for your future offspring?
Just ate an entire BBQ chicken pizza this better go to my tits
also I can check "jump into a moving car" off my bucket list if that tells you how tonight is going
How does one tell their boyfriend they're pregnant with someone else's kid??
i accidentally gave my stepdad ketamine so id say it was a fun weekend.
Did i fall last night when u carried me home.
idk
OHHH yea you fell down the stairs face first
I really don't think my body can handle another night of drinking
Lol you talk like you have a choice
I am worried that I am gonna die before the weekend is over
Randomize
