just found glitter in my belly button...seriously when will this nightmare end
I don't really see how asking you not to cum on my face or hair makes me high maintenance
hes like my own personal sex toy i use him on the weekends and then i have the option to put him away all week
I will miss his soup and his dick the most
I didn't just get this from the chlamydia fairy.. You should probably get tested.
FUCK BUDDYS DON'T HOLD HANDS. NO EXCEPTIONS.
Dude, did you really "knight me" and tell me I had permission to bang your sister last night?
I have fireworks and redbull; let's make heart attack inducing magic happen.
Im about to get a baby alligator stoned, what are you doing with your life?
Yeah I ended up covered in the mud by the end, in a lady bug golf cart that was blasting jazz music with a dead phone
I slipped in the shower today and broke my lighter..
I'm like a freaking volcano of life and sexual frustrations
I hate men. But I love dick. You see my problem?
Well I'm back. Could you fill me in on what I missed?
You don't want to know. Trust me.
She was cute in her own little way. Shit, free taco's makes anyone hot.
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