yo I wanna see you, bring that beard of yours
Sex don't cost a thang now that you can buy trojans with meal points.
I never thought that I'd ever use the phrase "and the resulting ice cream explosion" seriously at work...
I GOT MY PERIOD!
damn. i had names picked out.
she works at a police station now. i think thats the definition of keeping your enemies closer.
I have seen more male genitalia at this party tonight than I ever want to see again in my entire life.
do you wanna get some fucking pussy tonight.....THEN DRESS LIKE IT
Admitting I go to nursing school is my subtle way of saying, yes, I know every muscle in your penis and how to effectively use them.
Opened my wallet to find a slice of ham with a phone number written on it in sharpie.
I just test ran being their maid. I'm getting 50 bucks a month and they're buying the costume.
He came, while we were making out fully clothed. I'm going to write a book.
Dude when we asked him where he lived all he could tell us was "by the slurpees." That fucked up.
I can't tell if my bong is gender-neutral or not
She throws back shots like they are NO-THING. I swear, she goes through like five straight tequila shots, does a jello shot, chases with half a hot dog, has a rum and coke, and then takes her shirt off and makes an impromptu bandage out of it for fuckin' Tim who cut himself on the flagpole. I'm going to marry her.
congrats on being the token straight people in our group.
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