I took shrooms, thc and molly but its okay i'm surrounded by freaks
shes wearing a jean skirt, its frayed. i got this
How long do you need to date somebody until it is acceptable to fart in their presence?
The real question is how long do you need to date them to dutch oven them?
Ask me how many people I've slept with. Because its changed since I last saw you.
I saw you 20 MINUTES AGO. You need to stop this.
I don't even remember his name...i'm just gonna save it as birthday sex
you mean i was at the winter classic?
I think I've officially made out with the entire starbucks staff.
Well if he truly loves me he will just have to accept my flaws. And that includes a tequila dependency and borderline lesbianism.
I will always remember today as the day I narrowly escaped having to touch a tiny penis
that's how you measure success
By how bad my vagina hurts on a Tuesday morning while I'm trying to figure out how I got white girl wasted on a Monday?
Fun fact. I am at the police dept. getting served a warrant for unpaid ordinance... and the officer was a one night stand from like 10 years ago.
We bought a pool from walmart at 2am...and to make matters even more white trash we headed to Applebee's for half off appetizers and corona-ritas
I pulled you and a keg around in a wagon for like five hours and apparently everyone else remembers it but us.
Come eat Chinese buffet and watch us trip on acid. It'll be fun.
Yeah. 11 people shoved in a clown car for a 1 hour party. I'm too old for house parties.
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