it was a sick party until you insisted on putting on "that's how I beat shaq"
officially spring now- first drug bust of the season across the street.
just woke up COVERED in glow sticks and glitter. didn't even have to turn the light on to puke.
sooo....i just remembered that someone fed me a pretzel out of their purse at the bar last night.
Why not. Its my b-day, you're in town, I'm in town, bars are in town, and alcohol is in town. I don't see anything not good about those things.
i feel like this needs to be a 'lose some teeth' kind of weekend.
if you really don't think our country's going to shit think of this. Exactly one year from now I will either be in law school or teaching young, impressionable kids, maybe even yours. Try to sleep after that.
He said the last thing he remembered thinking was: 'Why is this vagina spinning?' Too drunk sex is no ones friend.
I also like to call Halloween "Mystery Fuck Day"
The least you could do is send me some gibberish so I know you're alive.
Fuhga
Thank you.
I honestly feel really bad for any girl with a period that lasts more than a day
Everything about that text makes me want to throttle you and cry
He sent a video of him jacking off....class will be awkward tomorrow
I ate the crust off the pizza and left the rest in the box. Even I would hate me.
He's not very smart so he didn't know I was yelling at him with monologues from Scandal.
how soon in a friendship can you start calling them a motherfucker
Randomize
