He is either going to be in my pants or get a restraining order against me.
i forgot what you looked like. so we left to get pizza. sorry
she told me that she was curious about how cum tasted. of course i left you.
Washing the last semen-stained shirt you have really solidifies a breakup. It just got real.
I had to stop mid sex to take my turn on words with friends so he wouldn't get suspicious. Hookup of the night helped me. We won.
It wasn't really sex. It was just rolling around, trying to make sure his dick didn't end up in my ass.
I don't drink so I see St. Patty's as an LSD type of day. Its like a more hardcore 420
YOUR TITS WERE ON THE TABLE.
Took off my bra at the laundry mat to throw it in I am officially white trash
Apparently, acid is a good substitute for cash if you don't have any! Who knew?
I see your boobs were ready to greet the new year.
I got really stoned and got my certification as an ordained minister. How productive has your day been?
she kind of stumbled up and said "Bitches be needin' stiches." i thought i could convince her to break a bottle over someones head but she fell onto her face and passed out before i could say anything
When I went to pick up Adam from the train station, I found him passed out, covered in gold paint and wrapped in a red blanket. someone had glued a gaudy green rhinestone to his forehead. He looked homeless.
I can tell just by looking at the wedding photos that the groom has hooked up with at least three of his groomsmen. I would feel bad for her except that she’s hooked up with two of the same ones.
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