this is something i pride myself on being below average for
There's nothing like vomiting in the restroom at work to remind you that you're not in college anymore.
Do you remember giving me altiods and wishing me good luck on the walk home?
There's a creepy homeless guy with no hand trying to get up on our tacobell order
I feel like our low point of the night was when we had to start chasing with ice cubes and wheat thins.
The paramedics came back to shotgun beers with us.
We should totally stay in at new years, have sex and try to time orgasm to the countdown
I only blacked out one night of three if that isn't fucking personal growth idk what is
doing squats while I brush my teeth.. gotta keep the booty in check
I just changed all my morning alarms to wake me up with different Jesse McCartney songs telling me I'm beautiful. Would you believe I'll be 25 this year?
She was riding me and giving me score updates to the basketball game at the same time..... Shes a keeper
My professor is wearing skinny jeans, orange socks and just said penetration. I don't know what to think
How’d it go?
I accidentally joined a cult
So not great...
How do you confess that you've had phone sex with your fiancé's brother's ex-girlfriend's new guy she's dating who has also slept with your best friend?
I’m really upset they canceled the conference. Since the divorce I’ve been working out, I bought cute new outfits and even found a bikini I liked. Now it’s all online. You can’t get laid at a webinar
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