did it hurt when the cum got in your eye
not so much hurt, more like a stinging sinsation like mouthwash
Coming down off exstacy at a church event. Resisting the urge to dance to the church hymns.
I wouldn't necessarily call it an addiction, more of a passion. I'm habitually passionate.
Hey, don't feel sorry for me, the two girls in front of me just ordered 18 dollars worth of taco bell. Life could be worse.
Professor took us out for drinks. She said if I ordered the 64oz "Call a Cab," she'd give me an A. I drank it in 5 minutes. A+?
When you're opening a bottle of tequila with a golf club, it's probably time to stop drinking...
I met him yesterday and now he's wanting to hold hands and kiss in public. i hate this
thats the coolest thing thats happened to my vagina since i dated that guy from portugal.
Its like a match made in avoid-eachother-because-we're-antisocial-and-awkward heaven
I was hoping for a marriage proposal... Or at least an offer to sleep in his bed.
He said I took his samurai sword off his wall and proceeded to jump off his porch at people coming home from the bar.
The dick pic bandit just sent me a poem about showering..
She was from Wisconsin, she had great boobs... I mean... It's a dairy state....
That was right around the time that the drunken mess pulled out his dick in front of myself and like 10 other people and started peeing all over the train platform while saying, "Sometimes a bear gets you brother. Sometimes a bear gets you."
Pretty standard Thursday night commute for you, no?
Now i know i wasnt that drunk... So why are there texts of me volunteering for a nude photo shoot for an art major student?
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