He ripped my extensions out during sex, not noticing until this morning when he saw them on the floor. I told him they werent mine and he went and threw them in his sister's room.
I'm not going to blow you while you look at fish on the internet.
she was passed out on the moving sidewalks in the airport, we NEED to travel more often
after further investigation i found out he's a little bit married..
I don't know whether to call the hospital or call the prison first.
I almost tried texting you with my pipe. Holy fuck this is good shit.
Of course I understand. Thou shalt never turn down a free meal or drink. It's one of the commandments of being a girl.
It's truly amazing how much porn I can get in while my phones at 1% battery life.
Powdered alcohol is a real thing now. Move over crystal light... Water bottles rejoice!!
I woke up in a chipotle parking lot with an industrial sized box of condoms and a bag of dounut holes. I need Jesus
I know he's gay. But if he touches my vagina I'm human centipeding his face. Sorry not sorry
how should I feel if a guy kept complimenting my bangs while I was giving him a blowjob?
Please don't try and hook up with one of your high school teacher's friends
I booty texted him nothing but three exclamation points at 3:05am and he was in my bed 17 minutes later, lest you think punctuation is not important.
He just took off his shirt. I'll text you later.
Randomize
