I decided you couldn't drive after you asked where the time circuits were on your Altima
I wanted to see November 5, 1985
you are my new fav person for making him do the walk of shame in pink footie pajamas!
my mom just texted me to let me know that Hooters is hiring
i wish my mom had big dreams like that for me
He yelled IN THE FACE!! while cumming on my face.
Whoevers house this is has only beer and cream cheese in the fridge. Thats the diet im gonna go on
I think I'm interested in anyone that recognizes I actually have a pulse
Is there really anything more beautiful than opening a fresh box of wine on a Friday afternoon?
Omg. The nephews found my stripper pole. The scary part is theyre good at it.
How many strippers in the world do you think have had a debate with someone about the NRA?
He was twisted. Literally. It's like God took his dick with a pair of pliers and gave it a half twist to the left.
I'm not sure what your ex was trying to say to me I was too busy chanting your name in his face
I immediately retract my statement involving hylecopters being allowed to blow up sharks out of the water.... The idea if it is super incredible but ultimately it would be cruel and unessesary
Like when I see him I look straight through his appearance and just envision a big walking penis.
Hurry up I'm getting mooned by a hobo
I'm really interested in the size of his penis so report back on that one
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