watching my parents drink 4 loko out of usf cups playing pool and rocking out to ACDC...
Can I come live with you?
i got iced as i was inside of her. i fucking hate my friends
I am a terrible person. This is almost as bad as when I was going to see my ex while my boyfriend was at that funeral.
i think i had a heart attack, prayed, and jizzed my pants.all at once.
Some guy just yelled at me from his car "CLIIIIIIIIIITT"... I feel like this has something to do with last night....
OH AND DAN PET MY CAT WHILE I WAS GIVING HIM HEAD
I have nothing to say for myself. When 2chainz comes on at the bar all bets are off.
I need rollerblades now
Rollerblades pick up bitches
Her delivery came. She's ordered a pack of 144 condoms.
I think as a general rule I have to have blacked out somewhere at least twice to be comfortable.
Lesson learned. Don't roleplay with a real knife.
Should we go get some celebratory "I'm not pregnant" tacos?
sometimes a perk of being a drug dealer is amazon gift cards. who knew?
I'm going to get high and eat ice cream until the pain goes away. You're welcome to join.
roommates are droppin acid, i really should stop them from staring directly at the light bulb, but their giggles are so enchanting.
Randomize
