five shots of tequila, anal and 3 cigarettes. not my best idea on a saturday afternoon.
Note to self. Condoms are not microwavable.
why do my parents always seem to be having way more sex than i do?
I don't think so, think I've only met him once, the night I lost my teeth
She was really fucking loud. My neighbors definetly knew my name...
Can you tell me how this chicken finger got in my pillow case?
well his nickname is liver of steel so it makes sense that his balls follow suit. tell him i say sorry
It's that "make a Pringle and Twinkie sandwich" kind of depression.
He led me to his room and handed me the remote, he left to go take a shower and there is a group of guys across the hall just staring at me... Its like they know something i dont. Help me.
you were leaning up against the wall pulling your shirt up asking girls to dance on you. your courage to do that is both admirable and frightening.
U offered to motor boat her and it somehow turned into u two going on a sunset cruise in Newport. At 3am.
Uhh... I think I meant "Be proud, I'm taking shots before my public speaking test." "Coffee and vodka is not good" and "Also, I'm giving blood drunk."
You'd be proud! I didn't lose my id this time... It got confiscated
I'm 25 and I shit my bed last night. And I'm telling you about it. Not sure which is worse
Ate 5 hotdogs today. You need to get me back on my tequila diet cause this shit has to stop!
Randomize
