he also called and said i only cheated on you 8 times but they were all trannies
and someone in the background yelling "one was fat so that counts as one and a half"
he's mad because you were 'slandering his penis'.
id pay someone 5 dollars to tell me whos house im at right now. comfy couch though
I'm in the grocery store cradling a box of wine like it's my firstborn, so of course this would be the first and only time I've ever seen my boss outside of the office.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've started grabbing my boobs in front of my lesbian philosophy professor so she'll give me a better grade. It's working...
Btw...pregnancy boobs are amazing. I don't recommend pregnancy in general but the boobs are good.
You have dresses for different occasions. I need different men's dicks too. It's logic.
I usually don't buy birthday presents for my booty calls
But you'll make an exception
probably not
Well the streets were closed, so it was okay for me to just lay down for a little bit.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sometimes I get in situations where I realize they think I'm smarter than I am and then it's just one more thing I have to fake.
I'm about to be a big disappointment.
Cancun blessed me with a drinking problem
Don't worry, I'm sure your thrusting skills are on point.
I'm gonna snort this pill I found on the ground cause that's how classy I am. Watch football and eat Beef jerky. Domesticated at its finest.
Nothin ruins a fine afternoon like shitting ur pants
He said my vagina smelled like pomegranates. Its like my vagina is the fountain of youth.
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