hapi new year, hope this year brings u happiness and lots of sexi people ;)
stop writing like that.
I just used dish soap as body wash. I smell like a dishwasher exploded. isn't the end of the semester fun?
i just woke up reverse cowgirl on my couch. fully clothed. my laptop is on the floor sideways. blasting gay porn and lady gaga. pizza crust everywhere. goodmorning.
She pulled out a handful of chest hair. And then gave the room a Brave Heartesque speech.
I need to do something profound in the next three and a half years so that when my kids ask what I did in my twenties I have something to say other than "made bad decisions"
I literally put my pussy on his sideburns, it was awkward
There's a lil minaj in everyone
And by go well you mean everyone's hammered right?
Yupp. And someone's bleeding
Goddamn you thin people LEAVE FOOD FOR THE BIGGER DRUNKARDS WHO NEED IT
It's been over a year since we've been get-so-drunk-you-throw-beer-cans-at-fat-girls-drunk together. That needs to change.
You were so drunk last night you left the bar to go buy a razor so you could go home with him
His legs actually look hot in that dress. He might even make a better girl than Josh
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
Today is an "outside sex" kind of day.
I ACCIDENTALLY SUPER LIKED HIM. I JUST DELETED TINDER FROM MY PHONE.
i was in class looking for a pencil and found a chicken strip in my back pack. i think i might have a problem.. sad thing is i ate it
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