you definitely held a convo with a hobo
we have a secret handshake
So the bouncer told me I could leave the easy way or the hard way. I told him I was going to make him earn his 10 bucks that hour.
Apparently you chose the latter.
Saved By The Bell: The College Years had it waaaay wrong on that one.
We just found a knife wedged in between the cushions on the couch you guys fucked on...why is this?
when life gives you lemons, puke and rally.
Your subconscious sucks. Mine is awesome. I have a recurring dream where I manage a chocolate factory run by big titted hookers.
A) you're a liar. B) that would be awesome.
In conversation she brought up that she slept with Tucker Max on the UF football field
I am 100% planning on being drunk on Wednesday. This is America. Work or no work.
You didn't say, "No." And you stole more than half of my Snickers. You owed me that dick.
I have a half pound of weed, a case of beer, 8 frozen pizzas and a hard dick. You have a high tech super-bong and a chest of sex toys. That's our vacation week right there.
My flask has coffee in it for finals week.. So that's responsible right?
I buy a new bowl every time I get a new guy. It's retail therapy.
Personally, I'm gonna be Sexy Dobby the House Elf.
If you send me one more .gif of that fumble, I will make the 10 hour drive just to set you on fire.
You are a super loving wife. But did you, at any point since Thanksgiving, slip me half your bottle of stool softeners?
Randomize
