Dude?? where did you go after Wildcats last night? Last I heard you went off with one of the girls we danced with?
Negative - This is his GF, Bobby is in Jail for a DUI. Thanks for the info.
Grow some girl-balls and come out already
singing on the bus should be illegal
huh?
There's a group of like 8 white people in the back of the bus harmonizing to sugar we're going down
so she asking me "is it okay to have dangling labias?"
I was giving him a blow job in the kitchen, but it was uncomfortable. so i took the oven mitts and used them as knee pads.
Don't tell me i'm not fucking resourceful.
I dont think he was a real cab driver. I think he was just a creepy guy with a van.
I went around and congratulated every guy that had a beard for having one
Goddamn tequila
Her virginity is one of the last things that remains of our childhood.
I started blowing him in North Dakota, and I finished the job in Minnesota. Oh, the places road head can take you.
I haven't had a bra on since I quit my job.
I feel like it should at least be like a "hey look I'm actually fine that I drunkenly gave you my virginity!" friend request.
I'm trying to drink up the confidence to run in public.
No joke. There's a picture of the priest I made out with on my parents' refrigerator.
I went to a party last night....I stole all of their ornaments and the toaster oven.
I just threw up on the way to class. Legit, on the sidewalk by psych building.
THAT WAS YOU? Psych prof just pointed out the window and said "that kids, is why you don't pregame before class"
Randomize
